ReStory Foundation calls for a shift in shame: Protecting South Africa’s children from abuse and trauma

As Child Protection Week (May 29 to June 5, 2025) draws attention to the urgent needs of our nation’s children, the ReStory Foundation highlights a devastating and often hidden reality: a silent pandemic of child sexual abuse that is devastating young lives – and silence, stigma, and systemic failures that are allowing it to continue. 

The official theme for this year, ‘Every Conversation Matters: Shifting Conversation to Action’ demands more than awareness. It calls for decisive, collective action to protect children, dismantle harmful narratives, and restore dignity to survivors. 

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The phrase ‘Shame Must Change Sides’, which gained global momentum following a landmark 2024 court ruling in France, is as relevant here as it is abroad. While that case involved an adult survivor, the truth it uncovered is universal: perpetrators must carry the shame, not those who endured the harm.

It’s a message the ReStory Foundation strongly affirms in their own work with survivors. “For too long, victims have carried the weight of shame that rightfully belongs to perpetrators. Children who have suffered abuse are not to blame. They deserve to be believed, supported, and empowered to heal,” says Natalie Naude, empowerment manager at the ReStory Foundation. 

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The hidden toll of unreported abuse

According to official statistics, a child is raped every 30 minutes in this country, with rape accounting for nearly 40 percent of all crimes reported against children. Yet, only three in 100 reported cases result in a trial – an alarming sign of systemic failure. Behind these numbers lies a far deeper tragedy: the vast majority of abuse goes unreported, buried beneath layers of fear, shame, and deep mistrust in the justice system. While 91 percent of reported cases involve girls, the State of the South African Child 2023 Report warns that this is misleading: a 2021 study found that two in five male pupils admitted to having been raped. Experts estimate that only four to 10 percent of male sexual assaults are ever reported. Many boys remain silent, haunted by stigma, confusion, and fears of being labelled or dismissed. A staggering 56 percent of unreported male cases are tied to fears of being perceived as homosexual – fuelled by a damaging societal belief that ‘men cannot be raped’. This narrative must be dismantled.

Trauma beyond the crime

Unprocessed trauma wreaks long-term havoc. When abuse is silenced, trauma festers. The psychological impact of child sexual abuse is profound and enduring. Male victims, in particular, often experience heightened rates of post-traumatic stress, substance abuse, and suicidal ideation. “At the ReStory Foundation, we are increasingly alarmed by cases where boys – unable to process their own abuse – go on to perpetrate similar harm against even younger children. This tragic cycle is not a result of inherent evil, but of untreated trauma and silence. If we do not deal with the shame and secrecy, we risk generations of unhealed pain becoming new sources of violence,” warns Naude.

Shame must change sides: A call to action

“Our message is simple but urgent: shame must change sides. Every structure and every person – from families to schools to the justice system – must work to protect children and restore their dignity,” added Naude. The ReStory Foundation’s mission is to empower marginalised children to overcome trauma, grow in identity and belonging, and become courageous agents of positive change. This mission must include not only responding to abuse but preventing it through education, justice, and a radical shift in how we speak about and respond to sexual violence.

Breaking the silence, restoring the child

The foundation’s frontline work reveals that secrecy and shame are the greatest barriers to healing. In many cases, perpetrators are family members or breadwinners, making justice feel dangerous or impossible. Victims remain trapped by silence, and communities often look away. “We want every child to know: this is not your shame. You have done nothing wrong. You are not broken – you are brave, and you are not alone. When shame is removed from the narrative, space is made for healing. This needs to not only be the belief of the child, but their lived reality in those they encounter in the process of disclosing their story and their journey to healing,” Naude stated. 

A generation of change is possible

The ReStory Foundation envisions a South Africa where cycles of silence and violence are broken – and where survivors are seen, heard, and healed. Every step taken toward healing one child is a step toward healing our society. “If we help children process trauma, reclaim their voices, and find belonging, we won’t just be protecting this generation – we’ll be raising one that’s equipped to protect others. Fewer hurt people will go on to hurt people,” mentioned Naude.

Join the movement

This Child Protection Week – and every week – the ReStory Foundation calls on parents, educators, policymakers and communities to stand united. Let the message be clear and unwavering: Children who speak out are not broken, they are courageous. They are not bearers of shame, they are survivors. Believe children. Support survivors. Challenge silence. Shift the shame. For more information, visit www.restoryfoundation.co.za